heslin.org

Thou hast not the stones, mortal

heslin — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 23:18:21 -0400

Home again, home again, folksy cliche'.

Just spent a week at my brother's place, watering the cat and feeding the plants. Man, I hope I got that right. That cat really was getting pissed by the third or fourth day. He (my brother, not the cat) went down to the Caribbean with his wife and her family, and it seems as though they had them a good old time. I very considerately used their air conditioning, washer and dryer, and big screen satellite TV while they were gone, because I am a very thoughtful person. Really, I am.

What else this week... got to see the National Constitution Center, which is a good time. Got to see K-Bar's last week of shows at the NCC, and she was excellent. Though, her new haircut makes her look like a very historically astute pregnant lesbian. Her husband assures me she's not that astute.

Work went from dead (there were a few of those "come in, look at the internet, get lunch, read, leave after eight hours" days last week) to a wealth of work (the unconfirmed report from upstairs is an expected three more months of steady work) in just a few days.

This week's book club was Scott Pilgrim, which was an entertaining discussion. For some reason it drew in eight previously unseen book club participants, all youngsters. I guess Scott Pilgrim or Michael Cera is a good draw with the high school demographic. I also got to drink and hang out with Rich and Marty afterward, which was nice. We keep saying we should go out and drink after book club, and it was nice to actually do that.

Also, I'm chasing some girl. That's got me sometimes crazy and sometimes pleased. We'll have to see about this.

--11:11 PM, EDT, Hatboro, PA, it's okay, this is a leap year

$0.17 does not equal .17 cents

heslin — Sun, 12 Jul 2010 14:19:59 -0400

Quick hits.

Item! Work continues. Word on the street is that this particular project could last into September. That would be nice for a sense of self-assurance, but I know better than to invest too much personal sense of security in such things.

Item! Developing alternate resumes and work searches. Also got some business cards on the way. They are ridiculous, and as such should properly be referred to as "calling cards," as they are unlikely to lead to any business. If they do, though, look out.

Item! Locked myself out of my apartment again this weekend. I want to stress this: not my fault. I know, I know, I keep doing it, so it probably is my fault, but I reiterate: nuh-uh. I took my car to the mechanic (where they didn't like me waiting around - sorry, guys, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable, I'll just go walk home a mile in the driving rain) and they offered to give me a lift home while they worked on the car. I accepted, but guess who had my keys? Yep, it was the mechanic with the social anxiety disorder. So, I got a lot of reading done. And walking. The rain was forgiving.

Item! Gerlach's old, Drew and Yumi are expecting, and Jones was in town. Also, Gerlach and Jones, despite years of separation, "look like sisters" and are apparently attracted to men who race motorcycles. After that they started talking about Bret Michaels and Poison, so I just went back to getting exsanguinated by mosquitos.

Item! The World Cup's over! I don't think anyone cares! Fans are evenly split down the "that was a good final" and "that game was like watching a bad student production of Agatha Christie's 'Ten Little Indians'." (Did anyone follow that? Bad acting? Players falling over frequently? Anyone? I don't really follow futbol.)

Item! I'm taking suggestions for new music and old music with which you may think I am unfamiliar. I'm willing to effect swaps of music as well, so let me know what you need or want. My two most recent purchases were Iron & Wine and the Gorillaz. I'm in the market for some old school Wu-Tang (I have Enter... and I'm looking for Only Built 4 Cuban Linx and Liquid Swords), possibly some newer Tori Amos, possibly some Nouvelle Vogue. Only you can increase the community's music awareness!

I have no more items. My dearth of items is concerning. I'm concerned.

--2:14 PM, EDT, Philadelphia, PA, Up from the thirty-six chambers!

And then Patrick Duffy steps out of the shower

heslin — Sun, 3 Jul 2010 10:01:34 -0400

Aw, man, has it really been that long? I swear I have some kind of self-reassuring mental editor that convinces me that after I have an idea for a post on here, I have in fact posted it. The truth is more horrible than you can imagine.

Anyway, summer. I actively dislike heat, though an insightful woman pointed out that I don't have to like the heat, I can just enjoy what the heat does to ladies' fashion choices. I can't argue with that. Summer is pretty, and traditionally the season of sweat, though this year I am reassured by my ability to turn my bedroom into a small haven of air-conditioned reprieve. It's not summer's fault that it is not winter, but it could try harder. Look at autumn and spring! They're at least halfway there.

Project continues apace, though we are going to have "lunch" with "all the associates and partners" on Tuesday, which could easily be just lunch, or just lunch with an opportunity for the placement agency to schmooze the client, or for the client to tell us that we did such a great job there's no more work, and dismiss us all. My work is very exciting that way.

Had a very nice meal at Jones this week. And since I'm always monopolizing Kristy's time, I freed up her schedule by taking someone else. (Did I mention very nice?) I probably owe K-bar dinner now, which is good, because it will give me a chance to hook her up with more Scott Pilgrim comics.

OMG Scott Pilgrim!!(!) Next month. Movie. This month. Final volume of the comic. It's going to be a very Scott Pilgrim month, I tells ya. Anyone want to go to the first available movie showing, maybe after getting a little hammered? Because that's my plan. You're welcome to join me, but DON'T STEAL, BITERS.

Canadians want you not to steal.

I know it's been responsible for a few of my failed attempts to wake up on time, but MAN, XPN's Sleepy Hollow is so great. So great. I woke up this morning to some slow, easy folk version of "Hiawatha." Then Norah Jones singing some of the music to a Ken Burns documentary? Yes, please. I need to see if I can get an unscratched version of my Morcheeba records on my iTunes. Also, I need more people to know that TV on the Radio is a badass group. I bought a couple of Adam WarRock tracks, too, because I'm trying to support developing music...? Nah, I just like War Rocket Ajax.

RIGHT THEN. Laundry. Liquid refreshment. Then going out on this holiday weekend. I hope yours is better than mine.

--9:56 AM, EDT, Hatboro, PA, long may you run

I don't want to set the world on fire

heslin — Sun, 4 Jun 2010 05:31:41 -0400

It's 3:49 AM, except it isn't, at least where I am.

Charles de Gaulle Airport is a crazy place. I have spent the majority of my time being driven from building to building (or possibly just from parts of enormous sprawling buildings to other parts) and once arriving at the correct terminal, I was forced to get yet another flight correction. Oddly enough, it was for the same terminal, and only thirty minutes difference, but apparently important enough to send me back through security for a new boarding pass.

There's a big shopping extravaganza happening in the terminal, similar to a lot of large airports, with the duty-free draw you get at international airports.

Man, I didn't sleep at all that flight (doo doo doo-doo doo). However, I watched Avatar and Invictus and about half an hour of The Hurt Locker. Also, the woman seated behind me could not figure out that her touchscreen would respond to light taps of a fingernail, and as a result I suffered through about four hours of her punching the back of my seat, where my head goes, with her finger. I thought about asking her to stop, but I didn't. I guess I hoped she would go to sleep, or give up, or what have you.

I kicked her ass in Inflight Trivia Challenge, though.

Have you been on a plane lately? I guess I haven't. They have the touchscreen computers on all the seatbacks, and there's a ton of free content on there, and it's networked. So, you can play poker, and the screen will tell you in which seat the person who just snapped your pocket aces is sitting. Or who's kicking your ass in Inflight Trivia Challenge. (Short answer: it's me.) And you can watch whatever movie you want (on a tiny screen, but whatever, you're on a plane, so it's about three inches from your eyes), or some TV, or whatever. And again, mostly free. Not the HBO, but big deal. See above for my movie content, all free.

All right, I have about six hours to kill. I'm going to find out if there's somewhere to get an outlet around here, and then see if plugging into it destroys my power brick. Also, croissants.

--4:01 AM, EDT, or 9:01 AM, GMT, or actually, is Paris on GMT or GMT+1? Whatever. and I was tossin' and turnin'

Visible from 2000 feet

heslin — Sun, 4 Jun 2010 05:29:05 -0400

Recording these live as they happen, uploading when a connection is available.

Screw you, Philadelphia International Airport. You should be providing free wi-fi, and you know it. You're just like all the rest, aren't you? Aren't you!?

This is how my trip started.

Okay, not really. Back this puppy up. My trip started when Justin sent out what I'm sure he intended to be a mere formality, a politeness not really meant to become anything actual. An invitation to his (second) wedding, in Bulgaria, ancestral home to the lovely Gergana, in the summer.

And I said, "I'd love to!" Really, why wouldn't I? I've never been to Europe, and the last time I went to a wedding in another country, it was a stone cold blast. (Chris and Mizuki, come and visit soon. Your room is all ready for you.) And I've been working steady and have a good job opportunity coming down the line... a great time to take advantage of my temporary employment status.

So, I booked a flight. You would think, that when one is spending about a grand on international travel for the sole reason of attending a single event, one would be certain about the timing of such an event. Wouldn't one? Well, this one didn't do such a great job -- I somehow convinced myself that the wedding was on a Thursday, and possibly in May... neither of which was true -- so I arranged to fly out of Bulgaria at about the same time that Justin and Gergana would be getting hitched (again). Good job, me! I rebooked, and learned that you never get a refund from either A) Delta, B) any airline, C) international travel, and/or D) really expensive travel. Choose all that apply.

Luckily, traveling Wednesday to Wednesday was a little cheaper than traveling Saturday to Saturday, so that offset some of the "You Were A Dumbass" fee that they charge you when you have to reschedule your trip. I was not offered any such benefit from my travel insurance people. I love customer service.

Then, right when all was looking good, the State Department (the good job opportunity noted above) e-mailed me to let me know I was actually not cool enough to work there. They were vague on details. So, I cried and punched a dog and one of my shoes came off, but after that I was cool. Pfft, State Department. I mean, who wants a job with good benefits and travel and job security? That's crazy talk. (When I re-apply next year, you are not allowed to cite this passage. Violators will be planed.)

That was yesterday. Today I'm in the airport. Things that have happened already today:

Delta told me my old, badly scheduled flights were still in effect. (Since resolved, not sure why they thought it would be funny.)

My flight was not in Terminal E, as stated, but in Terminal A. You'll note the five terminal distance between the two. I did not have to pass through security again, though, thanks.

My flight is overbooked. This might have worked to my benefit, since I could go later and negate some of my layover in Paris, but my options are apparently "tonight" and "tomorrow." Not a lot of wiggle room in there, so I passed on the bump-and-vouch. And since I checked in two hours early, I hope I will not have any issues with getting my seat.

This thing with the wi-fi, or rather, the lack of wi-fi. Jerks.

I have gummy bears and corn nuts and DFW's Infinite Jest, with the inscription from the girl in Milwaukee who moved to Manhattan, I have my laptop and my iPhone (but don't call, I will probably get charged out the wazoo for any use, you could probably text me, though, at $2 per), I have a handkerchief for when I sweat unmerciful, though the air conditioning is pretty fierce in here. I have a wad of American dollars, to reassure me about my personal value as a human being. I have a fear that the cuisine on this trip will actually kill me. I have high hopes. I have faith in the Philadelphia Flyers.

And I will see you all later.

--4:56 PM, EDT, Philadelphia, PA, you gotta take the elevator to the mezzanine chump change