Sea lions are rising up to destroy everything we hold dear! "They've had it too good for too long," said Admiral Whiskers, the nom de guerre of the leader of the Sea Lion Action Taskforce: Human Erasing Revolution (or "Ouureourooeoeuuuoer" in their native tongue). Whiskers and his band of revolutionary soldiers plan additional acts of subversion and terrorism, such as loud moaning yelps during on-site newscasts and violent mating right outside of the popular Fishermans' Wharf restaurant during peak dinner hours.
In other news, a complicated sting operation resulted in the arrest of Pudgy X, a well-known manatee subversive, outside Miami, FL. The arrest is not thought to have been connected with the upsurgence of sea lion activity in San Francisco, as the two groups share little in the way of ideology.
Also, this makes me laugh just thinking about it.
--10:11 AM, EDT, Ada, OH, let me show you them
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