That's not what the Death card means

So, I'm not in Canada. That's okay. It's not like I have to meet my contact at our rendezvous point in northern Alberta, or else the microfilm will burn inside its specially-constructed self-destruct casing. I can go next week, or next month. Though, if I keep up that line of postponement, I will eventually be suggesting a trip through an icebound wilderness capable of killing the unwary. And you know how unwary I can be.

However! When I go, I think I might go a little something like this:

• Nova Scotia. Home to Rachelle Goguen and Strange Adventures comic shop, site of lighthouses and landscapes, coastal vistas and all-in-all visual porn. You mention, "I'm thinking about going to Canada" and people immediately bring up the Scotia. There's a lot of draw there. Additional draw - if I so choose, I can take a ferry to Yarmouth from Bar Harbor. Allowing for the inclusion of sea travel on my 1000+ mile drive? Yes, please.
• New Brunswick. Supposed to be like Nova Scotia, but with more mainland. Still pretty.
• Quebec. I hear good things about Quebec from the Waffle King, though I will probably not be hammered and using public transportation. I may be missing out. Also, curious to see how bilingual the city is after being in Osaka and seeing how bilingual that town is without even having two official languages.
• Ontario. Toronto. The imaginary spot where the webcomic "Avalon" took place... I wonder if Ottawa has any good architecture. You'd think. Sault Sainte Marie and Sault Sainte Marie.

That's about all I had planned. Now, there are problems: going to Nova Scotia means going east. Most of my trip is west, so beginning it going east is slightly counterproductive. (By slightly, I mean entirely.) And unless you take that ferry both ways, you're going waaaay up and around Maine and through New Brunswick and Quebec.

Also, I'm traveling because I have time on my hands. If I get work, the trip gets canceled. Conversely, if I don't get work, I have to pay for the trip out of savings, which I'm not replenishing at the moment. The preceding has been both obvious and thinking out loud. You've been warned.

Also, I was going to end up in Wisconsin and see those good people again, because you have to go to Wisconsin to see Wisconsinites. It's true. There are studies to that effect. They don't leave. Borders make them nervous. Being outside the comforting embrace of a minimum two Great Lakes causes skittishness.

Man, "skittishness" is a fun word to spell.

Anyway, it'll happen, just not this week. Ideally, I'll be working, and at the very least I'll be serving a purpose while my sister is basking in the Cult of the Mouse with la famiglia. Housesitting, you know. Certainly not mooching their 90,000 channels of cable and various video game systems. Certainly not.

Canada veterans, please send me suggestions for things to do and places to see. I plan on a very haphazard trip - only you can prevent my missing the World's Second Largest Ball of Twine.

--8:26 PM, EDT, Hatboro, PA, very funny, guys, let me out

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