That's not what the Death card means

Here's the wind up, and the pitch...
written 2007-07-06 12:13:32

Bagel place, you have become so much less appealing after the loss of the rye bagel. Crowded, unpleasant, lousy with the petit-bourgeois upper-middle-class self-important hausfrau army and their brood of entitled undisciplined terror spawn. Was the rye bagel really making up for all of this? It's possible.

Didn't do anything for the Fourth. Rain prevented fireworks, and I spent some of it driving north on US 301, which is preferable to driving north on I-95 and about $5 cheaper.

Why was I driving north? Well, someone tricked me into driving to D.C., and then once I was down there, someone hid my keys and used devious trickery to convince me to stay an extra day. The cheek! I cannot countenance such tomfoolery.

Author's Note: In case you were wondering, I'm totally off the market. I say this for the benefit of the legion of ladies who read this thing religiously, hoping for information about my availability and physical location. Do not tempt me with your feminine wiles, honey-limbed lovelies, or Ingrid will have to take matters into her own hands.

And I don't have insurance.

--12:16 PM, EDT, Warrington, PA

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