That's not what the Death card means

I need a better time frame
written 2010-08-14 11:56:54

I'm going to go and drink and go to the movies.

But first, updates on my life, such as it is.

I bought life insurance! Now my family will have peace of mind that if I am horrifically slain in a trolley-car accident, they will be provided for -- wait. No, that's not right. I'm not married and don't have kids. Well, this way I can leave an inheritance to -- no, wait, I don't have anything to bestow. Basically, I've just volunteered to pay for my own funeral, which I must say is mighty generous of me, seeing as how I won't even get to have any of the free food or booze or anything. I presume everyone reading this will help themselves, and therefore I declare you all moochers off my dead ass.

Really, if I'm dead, I shouldn't have to pay for anything. It's just fair. Alive? You get breezy days, excellent film, hilarious jokes, all the good stuff. Dead? Well, you get to decompose, but on the upside, no one is asking you to buy the next round.

Except I already volunteered. I'm so stupid.

Speaking of my stupidity, I got way into this lady I've been seeing. So far into her that I completely disregarded her repeated reminders that she was not technically dating me. Arrogance and optimism in equal measure, there's your Greek tragedy. So, yeah, to clear up, I'm not dating this lady. We're still friends. It's fine.

I'm going to go drink and watch Scott Pilgrim now. You all take care.

--11:49 AM, EDT, Hatboro, PA, how can it shine down on everyone?

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