That's not what the Death card means

Money, fraud and ungrateful curs
written 2018-11-20 17:12:24

That's a long time between journal posts. And Christ, that last one is some weepy shit. No wonder my cousin's been tactfully asking me about my suicidal ideation.

So, it's November. I got older and almost no one noticed. Ingrid has decided that I am too hard to please and has stopped trying to do anything to acknowledge my birthday. I had a job for about a week, and a couple weeks of being a bum before that. Before that, I had about three months of overtime work and good paychecks.

On the subject of overtime work and good paychecks:

I have been supremely responsible with my income this year. Every time I get a chance at some extra hours, I take it. Every time I get a fat paycheck, I put some of it in a fund. Every time -- okay, three times -- that fund got big enough, I took the money out and gave it to Sallie Mae. Doing this has paid off three of my fourteen(ish?) loans, and eliminated about $12,000 in debt. This is on top of the usual monthly payments, which, aggravatingly have not gone down that much regardless of me knocking out loans.

I feel pretty good about this. It's what grownups do, or some other self-actualizing shit, I don't know.

So, anyway, this morning I get an email from Sallie Mae telling me my income-based repayment plan has come in and I'll have to make $X in payments each month. For those who don't know, the IBR plan is a federal measure that's supposed to take the heat off by only asking for some small percentage of your monthly income.

Here's the kicker: the amount they want is more per month than what I qualified for last year. I either made more money last tax year (that's what they base the decision on) or paying off the three loans this year makes them believe I have more discretionary income to apply to the remaining ones, or they just felt like assholes and decided to twist my balls for kicks. I worked overtime for months to pay these loans down, and my reward is paying more per month.

This is happening irrespective of my private loans, mind you. Those all saw 1-1.5% interest rate increases over the course of the year, aren't subject to IBR or any other federal help, and ask for higher monthly payments and sport higher interest rates. Never borrow privately for education, kids. They'll fuck you well after you accept that your additional degree doesn't actually qualify you for more jobs.

I've been paying student loans for twenty-one years, and paying obscene student loans for eleven years. I am scheduled to be paying them for another ten years. I do not qualify for any forgiveness or reduction from either federal or private lenders. I believe I will die before this debt does.

I wish I had a lesson at the end of this bitch session, a moral to the story. It mostly resolves to "everything is terrible, and the reward for being good is additional terrible".

Time off of work is time spent sitting and thinking about such things. The lack of updates is probably a direct result of having steady work for most of the last five months.

--5:06 PM, EST, November 20, 2018, now's about the time I gotta get up outta here, fuck this shit I'm out

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