That's not what the Death card means

Illegitimi Carborundum
written 2019-07-18 21:11:37

It's a Thursday, which means I'm 80% done with my work week, and I get paid tonight.

Right now I'm working on the same project I've been on since January, seven months ago. I haven't had any time off in that time, barring a day here or there for sick leave. They added a dozen or so people to our project, and it still doesn't feel like it will end any time soon.

I paid off another loan last week. Six grand and change. Working overtime every week and not really having other bills is proving effective at grinding out full payments. I'm down to about thirty grand and change outstanding, and that's all in federal loans, rather than privately held loans. Federal loans have better interest rates and they're more flexible about hardships and payment plans.

Been feeding the birds. I scatter a little wild bird seed on our window ledge, because there's probably some fucking HOA rule against bird feeders. It's nice, they're cute, but they get a little violent due to the lack of space on our window ledge and the prospect of free food. I'm trying to walk a line between "here's some food, birdies" and "welcome to the terrordome, hungry assholes".

I backed a Battletech Kickstarter for "an amount of money my wife is prepared to call irresponsible." Sometime next year I will receive a bunch of little plastic robots that will require painting and not actually playing a game with.

I'm tired, and I'm bored, and I feel like I'm not doing life right. Fuck if I know what "right" is supposed to mean in this context. I should get back to doing yoga or exercising or something. I should go away somewhere. I will eventually have these things decided for me -- work will end, granting me too much free time and a feeling that I can't do anything but look for work, or this job will keep on keeping on, and I'll have the opposite problem with the same outcome.

We gave the dog a beef rib bone, and she has been happily chewing at it for an hour. I envy her ability to simply enjoy something.

--21:05 PM, EDT, Philadelphia PA, you can't buy me hot dog man

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