My four generations-long crusade to annihilate the planet Pluto has, at long last, succeeded.
My agents have subverted enough of the Astronomers Union to have the "planet" declared a nonentity. No longer a planet, and soon enough out of the public mind altogether.
Then, when all Terran attention is diverted from it, I shall lead a team of interplanetary engineers to install a mass driver engine in Pluto's mantle, using its own substance to power a stream of mass and converted kinetic energy to hurl Pluto out of its orbit, toward the center of the solar system.
Only when a tiny solar flare erupts from the surface of Sol, Earth's Sun, will the people of Earth recognize that their fellow traveler, Pluto, is no more. Destroyed by the awesome power of the Sun, and by the terrible dread of mine vengeance.
Then, and only then, will Pluto know its failure, 12 years ago, in refusing to attend my junior prom with me. That jerk. I would have been a perfect gentlemen, but no... "I'm probably going to be exceeding Neptune's orbit that week. It wouldn't really work out."
Who's laughing now, Pluto?
--11:05 AM, EST, Ada, OH
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