I thought it had been a while since I posted anything, but not a whole year. Turns out I drafted a post and never hit "approve". I'm sorry, imaginary reader, if you spent too long wondering what was up with my life. Facebook was useful for providing this worthless proxy for personal connection; naturally I've deleted mine.
So, yeah, my dad died back in February. I'm kinda permanently sad about it. This is just part of getting old. I read something about boomers living longer, but spending those extra years suffering under American healthcare and end-stage capitalism. My mom just survived Hurricane Milton; I don't use "survived" lightly, it was a storm that was terrifying to meteorologists and she sent me a "here's what I want to happen if this storm kills me" message. She's okay. This is just part of living in climate catastrophe.
Next month I'm going to Florida for her husband's memorial service. He was a dick and I'm glad he's dead. I'm working on euphemisms and dodges for when I am asked about him. "Hopefully the people whose lives he's touched will awaken to a better day" is about as close to "he's dead and everyone is better off" as I can come up with off the top of my head.
Here's the kicker - the service is on November 2nd, so I have to fly down there the day before and fly home the day after. The day after is, of course, my fiftieth birthday. I was laughingly wondering if my family was going to do something for me; quite the opposite.
My state health benefits include six-a-year therapy appointments. I should pull the trigger on that benefit, because fuck, I'm angry and sad all the fuckin' time. I think I might have undiagnosed ADHD, but that's gravy. The main event is depression and living in an unjust end stage capitalist dystopia.
Ingrid left town for a couple days to see her family. I took the day off of work to mind the dog. Ingrid has been gone for less than 24 hours and the dog has peed in the house twice already. I would rather be cleaning up dog piss and listening to the Indigo Girls than commuting on a beautiful Friday. I'll take her to the dog park later today. Four day weekend when you add in Indigenous Peoples Day.
Because fuck Columbus.
--12:53 PM EDT, October 11th, 2024, just yesterday morning, they let me know you were gone
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